Having time to make prints this weekend was solace in an otherwise melancholic fortnight. They say perfection in the enemy of the good, but there is a more extreme situation when lofty expectations are the enemy of getting anything done. Despite several trips with the Nikon FM2 in the bag, she stayed in the bag. Sometimes we curse ourselves, too determined only to make art, not bumbling along as usual then we fail to make one solitary image. In my mind I can see whispers of the landscapes I want to create, only reality disappoints me. I am not sure what I am expecting; some mystical breaking of the veil of reality or unearthly mist to appear. Whilst I had decided to prioritise Landscapes I am now faltering with the blasted genre.
I feel the landscapes I want to create might need to be manifestations rather than mirrors of reality. Creations of printing techniques and conceptual altered landscapes. I need to try and mix things up before I die a death of stagnation. Maybe wake up before sunrise if that is even possible.
A few weeks ago, I met up with Holly in her beautiful garden. I decided for the sake of my sanity to only print a few from this set at the weekend. I need to be careful not to print marathon runs of a full set of images. It is better to print and experiment more with less images, even if it will take months to finish. More important is the creativity, fun with some chill in the mix.
This set is interesting to compare to my last set of images with Emma Jayne. The intention was quite different. With Emma I was quite determined to be as creative as possible whilst firmly trying to respond to the model as a person I know. The shoot with Holly was more informal, less concerned with being creative for creativity’s sake, I simply wanted to photograph the Holly I know and love in the garden she loves.
Not trying to be clever or particularly artistic but instead tapping into a humanist mindset. This is a quality even I can mature into, perhaps it shows in the photography. Before I used Holly for her Beauty to make a power statement on beauty, now I feel like I am trying to gently show Holly the person. Obviously, I was always claiming to be doing the latter but looking back, I did not understand the difference.
My first shoot with Holly post Covid, 2 years ago went too documentary, it felt disconnected somehow. I now feel like I was on the right track even though the results where off. What I got wrong was that I had not learnt to love the subject I am photographing. It is something you never hear in photography advice, not that anybody would listen anyway. I am not convinced I would know what to do with my own advice if I heard it in 2018. Now I find this humanity a solid quality in photography, without it images look clumsy, tone deaf or egotistical regardless of their impact.
There are still endless ways I would tackle this shoot again. There are always ways to improve but I love the Prints anyway. Despite endless preaching upon my concerns with model photography as art, maybe there is a delicate middle ground. Not art but sensitive portraits, judged more by traditional portrait philosophy than on pure artistic terms. Philosophy is a word I chose carefully. Much can be claimed as a portrait but so little seems to hit its humanist pulse within amateur photography. Using models make it harder. I still have concerns that Holly is posing, she is wearing something a bit model’y, both potentially troubling, but for me it works because it is just so Holly.
Often the model in front of you is too beautiful to want to do detail shots of hands, shoulders, and backs etc, it feels wrong to waste the film. As with my recent shoot with Emma, I am now finding details are my favourite images. Without them the set feels unresolved, amateurish even. I wish I took more similer images. I was a little too timid with this shot, but I now could not imagine being without the print. Such images add an extra layer of depth, pull you out of the rigid fixation of the whole body/ 3 quarter portrait mentality.
I am recently gravitating towards low contrast. For these images I went too dull then gently nudged them back into acceptability. I have a new interest in finding the secret to low contrast images that are not drab. Whilst I do not like processing as a style, it adds an extra layer of meaning, not done for effect but to reinforce the subtle aesthetic and add a feeling of faded vintage imagery. High contrast feels a bit clumsy, less sensitive. I need to push things a bit more in the darkroom.
